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The End of the Mean Boss? By Larry Kahaner

posted Sep 19, 2011 8:26 AM by Jacqueline Lara
    The news last week that Robert Kelly, Chairman and Chief Executive of Bank of New York Mellon, was fired because of an abusive personality and management style put a spring in my step. I never like to see people lose their jobs, but I also abhor those who have risen to the top despite their meanness and nasty demeanor and continue or intensify these behaviors once they’ve reach the top spot.

    It is an old saw in management that in order to be effective, a leader must be ruthless and cunning. Sadly, for many leaders this is true, which is why I rejoiced at the booting of Kelly whose behavior was hurting morale and causing friction among staff.

    After interviewing hundreds of business leaders I can say unequivocally that nice people can rise to the top and lead with vigor and decisiveness without being malicious. I would not say that these folks are rare, but on the other hand, I have seen far too many yellers, screamers and demeanors. I have seen too many leaders who exhibit sociopathic, erratic behavior because they believe this is the way to get respect and run a company.

    
    The question is why?
        
    I think there is a misconception among some rising in the ranks that in order to reach the top you must be sly and devious. In some pathological companies this is true and that dog-eat-dog mentality comes from the top. It is perpetuated.
    
    In other companies, promotions are based on results no matter how they are obtained. People will continue rude behaviors because they are rewarded in what sociologists call a ‘positive feedback loop.’
    
    For others, they are overcome with their new power and their personality changes for the worse because they are anxious about failure. They lash out against others in fear. 
    Still other leaders are just plain maladjusted, often bullies, and people get out of their way because they’re afraid of confrontation or retribution.
    
    In the past several years, boards increasingly have stood up to these destructive types. Hewlett-Packard’s top boss Carly Fiorina was forced to resign in 2005 partly because of her unpleasant management style. Merill Lynch’s board forced the resignation of Stanley O’Neal in 2007 because of his abrasive operating style. Note that these people have other no-no’s on their list of offenses and their ruthless behavior may be only one factor – albeit a significant contribution.
    
    There’s no reason for people to behave poorly in business. At the risk of being obvious and sounding naive, you can be nice and successful at the same time. I know that even saying such a thing attracts cynics who believe otherwise because they have experienced just the opposite in the own companies.
    
    I accept that, but let’s take a cue from Andy Lansing, President and CEO of Levy Restaurants who was recently profiled in the New York Times. Lansing has some insightful thoughts about power and what it means to be a boss. But one idea that caught my attention is that he hires for two traits: niceness and passion. He said: “It’s a question that you don’t prepare for and you’re not used to answering. And quite honestly, who is ever going to say no - nobody is. So I let them talk for a little bit about it as they try to figure out why I am asking that question. Then I stop them and I say, let me tell you why I’m asking that. The reason is that the most important thing to being successful at this company is to be nice. And if you’re not nice, this is the wrong company for you. It doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you, it just means that our cultures don’t align, and there are great places out there for you, but this is the wrong one.”
    
    Lansing added that the importance of being nice pays dividends on several levels. “… I realized a bit selfishly, too, that I only want to work with nice people. I don’t want to work with jerks. Life’s too short. I also knew intuitively that if you have a company of nice people in a service business, in a hospitality business, that’s going to be a good thing.”
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